Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
