there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
