He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
