he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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