yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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