drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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