I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I want a musical about memes.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
