Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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