wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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