make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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