Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
