the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
