He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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