I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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