Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
