Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
