She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
