I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
