fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
being pregnant is like rehab
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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