she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
