It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
