we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize