thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
