kristin has been a bad kristin
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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