So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Randomize
