Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
