To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
