only if we run a train.
done.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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