Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
