I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
