if you like me you must not know who I am
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
