I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yo dont text me then not text me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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