Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
