I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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