I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Everyone says I win the strip club
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
