am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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