Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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