I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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