i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
