Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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