Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
