What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
