Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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