I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
