To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
