well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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