It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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