yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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