So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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