this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
