i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
