so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Ladies don't puke and tell
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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