my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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