YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
