I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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