It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
