if i died would you start the facebook group?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
