I accidentally burped into my bong.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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