i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
